why does it feel like everyone else always gets what they want. all i was is to get married and have a kid. but why is that? is it because it will make me feel like im actually worth something? because if i have a child it will finally be like i mean something to someone. someone on this planet will actually need me. i think i thrive off of the feeling of bring needed. and im pretty sure thats not a good trait to have. actually none of my traits are good.


ahhhh.

saturday night i came very close to getting a tattoo.. then i chickened out, and the i regreted it. i still wish i would have went through with it.



i swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun