THREE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

im so excited for christmas. i cant wait to spend it with matt. and give him all his presents! i got him so manyyy, i hope he loves them :) christmas is sooo special to me because of the past few years. i mean two years ago started it all. when i started to actually live life for my self. i was on top of the world. i had a best friend that i will never forget. then this time last year i was coming home from new york. and got to spend christmas with my family & best friend knowing that i was home for good. i got my job at leith soon there after. and little did i know, but that was the beginning of my life. i met the love of my life, even though i didnt know it right away. and now here i am living with him, and spending our first christmas together. ive grown up soo much, and im so much happier than ive ever been before. everything happens for a reason, and im so glad it did.


im getting paid serious moneyyy this week. BIG pay check, and my christmas bonus.

chnages dont excite me anymore. they are sooo scary. the past year has been full of changes and almost all of them came back to slap me in the faceee. im scared, so now im afraid to change anything.

EIGHT DAY UNTIL CHRISTMAS, SAY WHAT.

I pity the foooool that falls in love with you

ohhh dearr. i should update like i used to. but im just either too busy, or too lazy. ha. last week i didnt work much because of my butt. ahhh. its all better now. he didnt have to cut it open but he numbed it and thats the most painful thing. then stuck like a suringe in there like thing and pulled out the puss and stuff. gross. then saturday matt had to work so i just cleaned the kitchen and stuff. i made cup cakes for the christmas thing on sunday. saturday night i think we just laid around. we watched the blindside <3 then sunday we went to matts moms for bobbys familys christmas. everyone was really nice. and they even got me a gift. some stuff from bath & body works that i loveee. its like one of my favorite scents. so i feel kind of bad for not getting them anything. but i had no warning! but one of the guys reallyyy liked my cupcakes. haa. then we went to target to get step up 2. haha. apparently matt loves that movie.. i started working on ornaments but got close to nothing accomplished.. so i must finish those tonight, or atleast soon. my sleep schedules been mangled because of being sick and sleeping in and stuff. oppss. last night i made some chicken and rice casserole and it was perfectt. its exactly what i wanted it to come out to be. yum. i think imma make soup tonight. for like dinner tomorrow and lunch and stuff.

CHRISTMAS IN 11 DAYS.
 cant wait.

i dont understand why im so impatient to get married. i love matt, and im going to be with him forever. so it shouldnt matter how long it takes. i mean, i think i just waited a while to find him. to find the person i would fall in love with. but i also think theres a reason for everything. mine and dereks relationship was pretty much to teach me and to give me a good friend.  i loved derek, but i wasnt IN love with derek. and i knew we would never get married. ha, i couldnt marry him. then i had my time when i wasnt in a relationship and had all these guys thats were possibilites but never good enough. then brien, well i guess i was just tired of being single or something? and after what he did to me, i was relieved to have matt. because i knew that i was in love with him. and im glad he is here. because i think i deserve someone who treats me the way he does. and he deserves me, actually probably something better than me. but at least im a step up from what he's had before. cause they treated him like shit. im in love, and i like it. ahhh, i hate when i ramble. my point was. WHY AM I SO IMPATIENT? im not extremely impatient, because i would NEVER leave matt because he was waiting too long to ask me to marry him. maybe im just excited? whatevaaa.

i cant believe it finally happened to me. i found the person that i want to be with forever. like get married, and have kids, forever.

"..that's one thing i don't understand with life. You meet thousands of people. And then you'll meet that one person.. and your life will change forever."

last friday i waited for matt to get off work and we rode out to the auction. except we were stuck in traffic for an hour because of a wreck. so by the time we got there, they were closing up. so we went by chick-fil-a on the way home and just relaxed friday night. saturday morning i woke up at like 7 and fell back asleep on the couch until like 10. then we both got up and cleaned and matts mom came over with tracey for a little bit. then we took showers and got ready and went over to matts moms for the night. had a lot of fun. sunday we finished moving everything from my apartment and got everything moved into the house. its all done. the moneys paid. greattt. last night matt went with larry and brent to go spotlighting and i got everything in the house organized and started laundry. love it.

but last night i woke up from pain on my crack, and this morning it felt swollen and red. so i went to the doctor and my infection came back on one side. and it hurtsss sitting on it. if i have to get surgery againnn, imma be pissed. ahhh.

 If you are not married and find a wedding ring in your dream, then it means that your personal relationship has reached a new level.

To dream that you are engaged to be married, represents sexual or relationship needs. You may be trying to resolve your feelings of loneliness. Alternatively, it symbolizes your commitments and desires for security. More directly, if you are unmarried, the dream may indicate your desires for some form of commitment.