Learn to sew better, and make something that I can use.
Ride in a hot air balloon.
Plant a garden.
Learn to bake from scratch. ( and it taste & look good )
Painting something for the house that I really couldn't live without on my walls.
Swim with the dolphins.
Learn to grill a steak like my daddy ( and future husband ) ;)
Change the oil in my car.
Learn sign language.
Go to disney world, six flags, and new york city. ( im sure the list will grow )
Write a book.
I hope the list continues to grow!
side note: im pissed because I tried to go back and look at some old posts.. and all my post from 2009 are gone.. and a whole bunch from 2010. wtf? does blogger delete them after a certain amount of time?
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
wow, did I call it or what? the other day I said something must be up because of the way my mom was texting me and tagging me on facebook and stuff. hmmm. friday night I stayed the night at my dads house and while we were having dinner dad tells me about everything thats been going on with him, my mom, and taylor. I was surprised at all, just reallyyy pissed. here we go..
my dad finally found out that my sister was back in North Carolina. shes going to CCCC and working at cookout. she gets sick and ask dad to take her to the doctor because she doesnt have any money.. dad doesnt go but does pay for it. a week or so later one of her friends told her that she was showing metal on her tires so she called my dad.. dad tells her to take it to mr. warren and let him check them out. she needs four tires... but atleast one to be somewhat safe. so i guess dad tells her to come up to cary on wednesday. in the meantime she texted me asking about how i leased my first car.. and then asked me did i work in cary because she was coming up. i said no and left it t that. so dad ends up putting four new tires on the car and i guess having a pretty serious intense conversation with taylor. she doesnt ever come out and say it but dad says she seems like she is sorry for everything that has happened and now she realizes the way her mom is vs. my dad. she talks about how she wants to see dad more and see me more.. she tells dad about how when she was living with mom someone stole $200.00 dollars from her and a braclet. ( i have a suspicion thats its my mother who stole it ) then she says that mom is supposed to be sending money for her to eat with but she never does.. my dad then shows her a text from my mom that says she IS in fact sending taylor money. taylor talks about how she doesnt have any clothes and mom wont give her any money for clothes. so dad offers to take her to walmart to get clothes and she agrees. ( although i dont think they actually went ) taylor leaves and dad is convinced she is trying to do the right thing now.. the next day was his birthday and my mom text him and ask him to extend his child support for another year until taylor is 19. dad simply replys "no".
so after hearing this entire story i completely loose my appetite. i had half a hotdog and a few bits of mac and cheese. im pissed. everyone was okay with the way things were and now you want to come back and basically ask for forgiveness? its not fair. he is MY dad. you took him for granted and now you just want him back? trust and respect is something you earn and girlll you are WAYYYY in the negative right now. i dont understand why this has to happen. she has always wanted what i have.. this is her just being the typical taylor. but really, why is she doing this? is it because she actually knows what the hell happened and now she knows she was in the wrong? or is it some plan to manipulate my dad into giving her what she wants. i love my dad and he is a smart man but thats his daughter and im not sure where is would draw the line. he may draw the line way to late.
ive decided that i am not giving in in the least. things are going to stay the way are. im not falling for it and im not wasting my time because things will NEVER be the same. i learned how to cope and deal with that fact and im sticking to it. you're not coming back in to screw with my emotions.
also i have this huge urge to confront my mom about someone stealing taylors 200.00 dollars and braclet. obviously i dont know if i can even believe taylors story but i still just want to confront her about it. and thats another thing.. do we believe taylor or my mom? or are they both playing together to play against us? its unreal.
my dad finally found out that my sister was back in North Carolina. shes going to CCCC and working at cookout. she gets sick and ask dad to take her to the doctor because she doesnt have any money.. dad doesnt go but does pay for it. a week or so later one of her friends told her that she was showing metal on her tires so she called my dad.. dad tells her to take it to mr. warren and let him check them out. she needs four tires... but atleast one to be somewhat safe. so i guess dad tells her to come up to cary on wednesday. in the meantime she texted me asking about how i leased my first car.. and then asked me did i work in cary because she was coming up. i said no and left it t that. so dad ends up putting four new tires on the car and i guess having a pretty serious intense conversation with taylor. she doesnt ever come out and say it but dad says she seems like she is sorry for everything that has happened and now she realizes the way her mom is vs. my dad. she talks about how she wants to see dad more and see me more.. she tells dad about how when she was living with mom someone stole $200.00 dollars from her and a braclet. ( i have a suspicion thats its my mother who stole it ) then she says that mom is supposed to be sending money for her to eat with but she never does.. my dad then shows her a text from my mom that says she IS in fact sending taylor money. taylor talks about how she doesnt have any clothes and mom wont give her any money for clothes. so dad offers to take her to walmart to get clothes and she agrees. ( although i dont think they actually went ) taylor leaves and dad is convinced she is trying to do the right thing now.. the next day was his birthday and my mom text him and ask him to extend his child support for another year until taylor is 19. dad simply replys "no".
so after hearing this entire story i completely loose my appetite. i had half a hotdog and a few bits of mac and cheese. im pissed. everyone was okay with the way things were and now you want to come back and basically ask for forgiveness? its not fair. he is MY dad. you took him for granted and now you just want him back? trust and respect is something you earn and girlll you are WAYYYY in the negative right now. i dont understand why this has to happen. she has always wanted what i have.. this is her just being the typical taylor. but really, why is she doing this? is it because she actually knows what the hell happened and now she knows she was in the wrong? or is it some plan to manipulate my dad into giving her what she wants. i love my dad and he is a smart man but thats his daughter and im not sure where is would draw the line. he may draw the line way to late.
ive decided that i am not giving in in the least. things are going to stay the way are. im not falling for it and im not wasting my time because things will NEVER be the same. i learned how to cope and deal with that fact and im sticking to it. you're not coming back in to screw with my emotions.
also i have this huge urge to confront my mom about someone stealing taylors 200.00 dollars and braclet. obviously i dont know if i can even believe taylors story but i still just want to confront her about it. and thats another thing.. do we believe taylor or my mom? or are they both playing together to play against us? its unreal.
Monday, August 20, 2012
wow, time really does fly. i cant believe the last time i wrote in this thing was june. thing this used to be my therapy. maybe thats why i continue to relapse over and over again. or maybe its because im not taking my medicine.. because thats what everyone else seems to think. either way ive been off my meds for quite a while now and i feel fine, and matt said he hasnt been able to tell like he normally would. so maybe im getting better? or better at masking it..
november is getting veryyy close and i am overwhelmed with all the shit i still have left to do. mikey and alicias 21st birthdays have come and past. for mikeys birthday we all went to legends. i drank in the bathroom, called a cab back to carolines apartment and we all crashed. alicias birthday i took off friday so i could drive up to greenville thursday night and surprize her. we all stayed at her apartment.
that friday night i went out with matt, larry, and larrys date (Mary) to Charlie Goodnights to see one of customers Charlie Viracola. Saturday Matt and i spent the day together, had angus barn for dinner, and then went bowling with larry and his date again. (turned out to be a big mistake) lets just say i wont being going on anymore double dates with them again. i actually wish he would just "hit it and quit it" oh well.
i hadnt really heard from my mom until the other day she texted me to see how wedding plans were coming along.. weird. something must be up because i know she doesnt actually wish she was here helping or else she would be helping from a far. and my sister.. oh hey she actually live in North Carolina again. I only know that because Mikey, Alicia, Sarah, and Caroline saw her working at cookout. i have no clue who she is leaving with or where. and she asked my dad for a new car as her 18th birthday present. HA HA. my dad said "hell no, allison paid for her second car" and taylor says "well see.. im not allison" haha, we know girl, we know. thats not something to be proud of.
what else is going on in this glamorous life of mine.
OH, i hate my job. and yes even more than before. my schedule used to be tuesday through saturday. which kind sucked working saturdays but i was okay with it. now i work every other saturday and only get one say off every other week. WTF. the schedule is horrible. so basically it pushed me over the edge. ive been searching for a new job and i got everything ready to go back to school. i didnt have time to start this semester but next semester i am going back to school for criminal justice. OH HEY, im going to be working in a prison. im really excited. hopefully i will have a new job soon. because in order to quit, i have to have a new job. lemme work from home or something, shit. or write a blog. DREAM JOB. because i have always loved to read and write.
i died my hair darkkk brown with some red high lights last night. ive always liked my hair darker. now i just want it to grow out for the wedding and forever. haha.
november is getting veryyy close and i am overwhelmed with all the shit i still have left to do. mikey and alicias 21st birthdays have come and past. for mikeys birthday we all went to legends. i drank in the bathroom, called a cab back to carolines apartment and we all crashed. alicias birthday i took off friday so i could drive up to greenville thursday night and surprize her. we all stayed at her apartment.
that friday night i went out with matt, larry, and larrys date (Mary) to Charlie Goodnights to see one of customers Charlie Viracola. Saturday Matt and i spent the day together, had angus barn for dinner, and then went bowling with larry and his date again. (turned out to be a big mistake) lets just say i wont being going on anymore double dates with them again. i actually wish he would just "hit it and quit it" oh well.
i hadnt really heard from my mom until the other day she texted me to see how wedding plans were coming along.. weird. something must be up because i know she doesnt actually wish she was here helping or else she would be helping from a far. and my sister.. oh hey she actually live in North Carolina again. I only know that because Mikey, Alicia, Sarah, and Caroline saw her working at cookout. i have no clue who she is leaving with or where. and she asked my dad for a new car as her 18th birthday present. HA HA. my dad said "hell no, allison paid for her second car" and taylor says "well see.. im not allison" haha, we know girl, we know. thats not something to be proud of.
what else is going on in this glamorous life of mine.
OH, i hate my job. and yes even more than before. my schedule used to be tuesday through saturday. which kind sucked working saturdays but i was okay with it. now i work every other saturday and only get one say off every other week. WTF. the schedule is horrible. so basically it pushed me over the edge. ive been searching for a new job and i got everything ready to go back to school. i didnt have time to start this semester but next semester i am going back to school for criminal justice. OH HEY, im going to be working in a prison. im really excited. hopefully i will have a new job soon. because in order to quit, i have to have a new job. lemme work from home or something, shit. or write a blog. DREAM JOB. because i have always loved to read and write.
i died my hair darkkk brown with some red high lights last night. ive always liked my hair darker. now i just want it to grow out for the wedding and forever. haha.
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