yesterday i workedd at chrysler, plus mercedes, plus bmw. on my lunch break i had to take the dress women my dress so she can alter it for the weddinggg. it was the most awkward thinggg. hahaa. we were just standing in her living room and she was like, " go ahead and get undressed, theres no one here but me " hahaha, until i relized i was wearing the smallest pair of underwear i own. LMAO. so i got that done. i got off at four so matt just met me at the housee. but theres was a wreck on US1 so i tried to tell him to get around it but i suckkk so bad at directionss. haha. after i went home and changed we just went for a drive, then to get my hair color, and to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. :) matt cooked chicken ceaser salad with bacon for my parentsssss. omggg, sooo good. :))) so we watched glee, then did my hair. it looks soo good. i like it much better than my red. but i ended up needing two bottles because i have such thick hair soo matt and my dad had to go to the store together. hahaha. cute. i watched like half of teen mom that came on at 12 but i passed out earlyyy.
everythings perfectttt.
i love you.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
i love when people tell the truth. that question that i was dreading from matt came up saturday night. turns out jesse actually told him the truth. yeahh it was after he lied and kept it a lie for months but either way atleast now matt knows i was being truthful. go me. i dont feel like i just came out of a relationship either.. i feel like brien isnt worth me being worried, or upset about. someone like that doesnt deserve to me in my life. im not rebounding. im doing what makes me happy. which i should have done months ago.
last night was retarded at work. it was like a millionnn degrees. so when i finally got off matt just picked me up from here. he brought me new silverware. like some get got like five years ago for christmas and hasnt used. hahaha. then we drove to my house so i could shower and changee. and we ended up going to daniels. yummmm. then we pretty much just came home and watched jersey shoreee. haha. i was sooo tired, i just didnt want to sleep because i hate missing time with him. he's the sweetesttt thing. but we woke up this morning and i had nooo covers! haha. and i was freezinggg. it was ridiculous. i got ready in like .5 seconds. haha.
matts been worried about my dad knowing.. ? which i guess i kind of understand why. i mean.. my dads not dumb. we spend a lot of time together. but i talked to my dad about it this morning and he is pretty okay with it. just wants me to be careful. im taking a risk trusting someone, but ive been able to trust matt for a longggg time. whateverrr. im doing what makes me happy, its not like im out sleeping around or anything. we communicate so well, i dont know if its a maturity thing or what? either wayy its awesome. we are going to the state fair on sunday because matt has to work on saturday! im sooo excited to go to the fair. i just like walking around. and all the food. ahhhh, i cant wait!! i love fall sooo much. my birthday, then the weather gets nice, then the fair, then thanksgiving, and then christmasss!! yayyy. me and matt talked about going to the christmas party together this year. how exciting! plus i get off at 4 todayyyy. so im meeting matt at my house. then later me and april are going to buy my hair dye. doing my hair, and watching glee!! so serious about my glee, but the last episode suckedd.
last night was retarded at work. it was like a millionnn degrees. so when i finally got off matt just picked me up from here. he brought me new silverware. like some get got like five years ago for christmas and hasnt used. hahaha. then we drove to my house so i could shower and changee. and we ended up going to daniels. yummmm. then we pretty much just came home and watched jersey shoreee. haha. i was sooo tired, i just didnt want to sleep because i hate missing time with him. he's the sweetesttt thing. but we woke up this morning and i had nooo covers! haha. and i was freezinggg. it was ridiculous. i got ready in like .5 seconds. haha.
matts been worried about my dad knowing.. ? which i guess i kind of understand why. i mean.. my dads not dumb. we spend a lot of time together. but i talked to my dad about it this morning and he is pretty okay with it. just wants me to be careful. im taking a risk trusting someone, but ive been able to trust matt for a longggg time. whateverrr. im doing what makes me happy, its not like im out sleeping around or anything. we communicate so well, i dont know if its a maturity thing or what? either wayy its awesome. we are going to the state fair on sunday because matt has to work on saturday! im sooo excited to go to the fair. i just like walking around. and all the food. ahhhh, i cant wait!! i love fall sooo much. my birthday, then the weather gets nice, then the fair, then thanksgiving, and then christmasss!! yayyy. me and matt talked about going to the christmas party together this year. how exciting! plus i get off at 4 todayyyy. so im meeting matt at my house. then later me and april are going to buy my hair dye. doing my hair, and watching glee!! so serious about my glee, but the last episode suckedd.
Monday, October 11, 2010
i feel baddd, that i dont feel bitter.
as of wednesday, brien no longer lives in NC. i was fucked over, but im better now. ive moved into my OWN apartment all by myself. :) i went to the doctor for my anxiety and stress and they prescribed me some medicineee. i got rid of utley.. and jesus sooo much has changed. im glad things ended when they did, and its kind of bad that im not exactly upset anymore. soo, wednesday i we moved all my stuff over to my new apartment. then thursday i went over to crystals house. utley was at home so i had to drive all the way home. but matt got off at 630 so he just rode with me. we got utley and went over to crystals house. we pretty much just sat around like alwaysss.
FRIDAY, i went to dinner with my parents. i got off at four so i went home to start laundry and take a nap. we had dinner at daniels ! my dad picked me up, so they went to drop me off and help straighten up my apartment. ssooo me and april were outside smoking and on the balcony across from mine we heard BANG BANG BANG, APEX POLICE. OPEN UP. so there were like people in there but i guess they had the door locked? so eventually they like busted down the door and searched the place and couldnt find anyone? so later the cops came like beating on my door, and they wanted to like see my attic space and stuff to see if there was anyway they could get up in there. the cops were like playing with utley and stuff. hahaha. then later they arrested 2 guys. then my parents left. and chris came over around 1? we pretty much just watched tv, i was soo tired. and i had to get up early so he left at like 230?
SATURDAY, i went with my parents to get some shoes for taylors wedding. we drove there, picked them up and came back to fuquay. went to kohls and got 2 pairs of work pants, and some jeans. then my parents wanted me to go to the groccery store with them so i would have to pay. then i went home to finish laundry. at like 4, matt came over. the people buying the washer and dryer were supposed to come at 5 but they got there at like 6. so until then, me, my parents, and matt watchedd the carolina/clemson gamee. and we wonnn. once they took the washer and dryer.. me and matt left. we stopped by the store to get stuff for dinner and beer. then we stopped by his house so he could changee and pick up his friend BJ. and it ended up that larry, and jesse came too. then on the way to crystals we had to get more beer and cigarettes. hahaha. we were at crystals untill like 2? it was hilarious. and there was randomly like 15 people there? matt took us all back to his houseee. i just remember not being able to see and being like " CAN YOU PUT YOUR BRIGHTS ON PLEASE? " hahaha? once we got back to matts we were up until like 5AM. hahahaa. got up at like 12 and crystal and everyone were at waffle house but me and matt went to griffins instead.. then went to lowes to get some stuff for his bathtub drain, and a mail boxxx. haha. then we met crystal and john and janine at target. but matt and john ended up going to the junkyard with jason so me crystal and janine shopped then went back to her house. and took at nap. then went to hillshire farms. which was like reallyyy cool if i was 6? haha. so we didnt stay long, just got our pumpkins and lefttt. then me and matt went to harris teeter to get stuff to make spaghetti. and when it was almost done i went to smoke a cigarette and burnt the noodles. haha. then we watched glee. and went to sleeppp.
awesomeeeee weekend.
FRIDAY, i went to dinner with my parents. i got off at four so i went home to start laundry and take a nap. we had dinner at daniels ! my dad picked me up, so they went to drop me off and help straighten up my apartment. ssooo me and april were outside smoking and on the balcony across from mine we heard BANG BANG BANG, APEX POLICE. OPEN UP. so there were like people in there but i guess they had the door locked? so eventually they like busted down the door and searched the place and couldnt find anyone? so later the cops came like beating on my door, and they wanted to like see my attic space and stuff to see if there was anyway they could get up in there. the cops were like playing with utley and stuff. hahaha. then later they arrested 2 guys. then my parents left. and chris came over around 1? we pretty much just watched tv, i was soo tired. and i had to get up early so he left at like 230?
SATURDAY, i went with my parents to get some shoes for taylors wedding. we drove there, picked them up and came back to fuquay. went to kohls and got 2 pairs of work pants, and some jeans. then my parents wanted me to go to the groccery store with them so i would have to pay. then i went home to finish laundry. at like 4, matt came over. the people buying the washer and dryer were supposed to come at 5 but they got there at like 6. so until then, me, my parents, and matt watchedd the carolina/clemson gamee. and we wonnn. once they took the washer and dryer.. me and matt left. we stopped by the store to get stuff for dinner and beer. then we stopped by his house so he could changee and pick up his friend BJ. and it ended up that larry, and jesse came too. then on the way to crystals we had to get more beer and cigarettes. hahaha. we were at crystals untill like 2? it was hilarious. and there was randomly like 15 people there? matt took us all back to his houseee. i just remember not being able to see and being like " CAN YOU PUT YOUR BRIGHTS ON PLEASE? " hahaha? once we got back to matts we were up until like 5AM. hahahaa. got up at like 12 and crystal and everyone were at waffle house but me and matt went to griffins instead.. then went to lowes to get some stuff for his bathtub drain, and a mail boxxx. haha. then we met crystal and john and janine at target. but matt and john ended up going to the junkyard with jason so me crystal and janine shopped then went back to her house. and took at nap. then went to hillshire farms. which was like reallyyy cool if i was 6? haha. so we didnt stay long, just got our pumpkins and lefttt. then me and matt went to harris teeter to get stuff to make spaghetti. and when it was almost done i went to smoke a cigarette and burnt the noodles. haha. then we watched glee. and went to sleeppp.
awesomeeeee weekend.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
doesnt it make you said to know, that life is more than who we are?
friday sucked, we argueddd. after having dinner at chilis. i dont even remember what we argued about. but brien called me a bitch. so i just left and went to redbox and got remember me. took it home, watched half of it and fell asleep. saturday i woke up at like nine to go get jake from the vet, and then take him to my parents house. and i said kim and leo after i dropped him off. they were going to the zoo, and landon is sooo big. then i went home and we drove out to the flea market but forgot that its closed all of october because of the fairr. <333. so we went to petsmart. then dropped Utley off and went back to apex to go shopping. then i already had plans to go to crystals but i had no gas plus brien wasnt going. thenn, we had some huge argument because it seemed like brien didnt want me to hangout with him, tyler, and andy, so whatever, they dropped me off at crystals. and i hungout there all nightt. stephanie, her cousin matt, jenn, damon, larry, matt moore, and janine were there. we pretty much just sat my the fire and drank. and janaine was so obnoxiously drunkk. and it was hilarious. matt e apparently said something and it sounded like he was calling her a whore, adn she flipped out. then me, stephanine, matt e, and matt m all went to waffle houseee. lmao. then brien picked me up from there, pissed for no damn reason? then sunday was football, and brien had tyler, andy, and andys brother so i went to crystals. me, crystal, john, janaine, and matt m went to halloween store, then to sallys. i just sat in the truck with matt and john. while crystal and janaine went in. then we went and ate mexican. and went back to crystals house and played dress up, and watched glee. then monday nicole tried to send me to chrysler, and i really didnt want to. so she sent me anyways just to train the other girl. thats a fuckinggg diaster. this girl really was soo annoying. and i end up staying until 12, then going to switchboard until 2, then i had lunch with matt m at the mall, and then closed honda at 7.. matt order pizza after work, so i picked it up and we all went to crystals and watched dawn of the dead. like the old oneee. hahaha. brien was asleep when i got home.. and now im at chrysler AGAIN answer damn phones...
im really sick of all this drama with my mom. she's constiently hurting my feelings. shes the one who made everyone pick sides, and ultimately i had to go with what was better for me. if i continue to talk to her and what not, or if i cut the ties.. either way its going to hurt me. and i can admit that she isnt worth my time, never was. but its not that easy to just dropp your mom. i'd have to explain myself, not that i owe her any explnation. im pretty sure she owes me one. i dont want her at my wedding, i dont want her helping with anythinggg in my future. as a matter of fact, i'll just write off the her whole side of family. its not like i hear from any of them anyways, thanks for the phone calls on my birthday, when i was in bed all dayyyy because i couldnt fucking walk. or sit. they all mean nothing to me. thats harsh, but i dont miss my mom at all. who would? all i need is my dad, stepmom, and friends. they'll have to keep me going, somehow. although come to think of.. i work wayyy more hours a day than my mother. OH and i work monday through saturday most weeks. OH and i drive a 2010 car, brand newww. OH and im 19 years old and do everything for myself. but my 16 year old sister is amazing, never wanting anything?? working hard for everything. she doesnt work hard, and never has for anything she owns. my uncles just handing her a fucking car. and without and job, how is she going to fill up the gas tank. i worked when i was 15 until now. and that apparently means nothing to my mother. whatever. im tired of trying to please her. because it will NEVER be good enough. and thats sad. really sad. dont blame me for ANY of this, because ive tried my best. and im really tired of trying. your worthless, and the best thing my dad did was leave, because you treated him like shit. and he wasnt good enough for you either, apparently. i shouldnt have to live with this anger. and im not going to.. as soon as i figure out how to do that.
and whats wrong with me and brien. its constant fighting. im sooo sick of arguing with him. maybe once again its my fault? because maybe im not fit for a relationship. i cant be sure. im not sure of anything. i dont know what to do to make myself happier. how ridiculous.. its my own life but i dont know how to make it better. it makes no sense. i dont even know whats making me unhappy. is it brien? is it work? is it me not being in school? i wish i knew.
i talked to christine yesterday, and today. and i feel a lot better.
dont give me options..
im really sick of all this drama with my mom. she's constiently hurting my feelings. shes the one who made everyone pick sides, and ultimately i had to go with what was better for me. if i continue to talk to her and what not, or if i cut the ties.. either way its going to hurt me. and i can admit that she isnt worth my time, never was. but its not that easy to just dropp your mom. i'd have to explain myself, not that i owe her any explnation. im pretty sure she owes me one. i dont want her at my wedding, i dont want her helping with anythinggg in my future. as a matter of fact, i'll just write off the her whole side of family. its not like i hear from any of them anyways, thanks for the phone calls on my birthday, when i was in bed all dayyyy because i couldnt fucking walk. or sit. they all mean nothing to me. thats harsh, but i dont miss my mom at all. who would? all i need is my dad, stepmom, and friends. they'll have to keep me going, somehow. although come to think of.. i work wayyy more hours a day than my mother. OH and i work monday through saturday most weeks. OH and i drive a 2010 car, brand newww. OH and im 19 years old and do everything for myself. but my 16 year old sister is amazing, never wanting anything?? working hard for everything. she doesnt work hard, and never has for anything she owns. my uncles just handing her a fucking car. and without and job, how is she going to fill up the gas tank. i worked when i was 15 until now. and that apparently means nothing to my mother. whatever. im tired of trying to please her. because it will NEVER be good enough. and thats sad. really sad. dont blame me for ANY of this, because ive tried my best. and im really tired of trying. your worthless, and the best thing my dad did was leave, because you treated him like shit. and he wasnt good enough for you either, apparently. i shouldnt have to live with this anger. and im not going to.. as soon as i figure out how to do that.
and whats wrong with me and brien. its constant fighting. im sooo sick of arguing with him. maybe once again its my fault? because maybe im not fit for a relationship. i cant be sure. im not sure of anything. i dont know what to do to make myself happier. how ridiculous.. its my own life but i dont know how to make it better. it makes no sense. i dont even know whats making me unhappy. is it brien? is it work? is it me not being in school? i wish i knew.
i talked to christine yesterday, and today. and i feel a lot better.
dont give me options..
Friday, October 1, 2010
don't call me a bitch, that just makes everything worse.
on top of everything this is ridiculous. and I cant even just drive around to relax. because I have no god damn money because of not working for a week and then having to pay fucking AT&T so now I'm just sitting in the Harris teter parking lot. how pathetic. is it really me? the problem is I'm not really even sure. whatever. i guess it's a part of my mother that will never go away. I hatebeing compared to her and I really hate feeling like I'm acting like her. this relationship is so different, but vie stayed the same. maybe that's the fucking problem. but mom is pure evidence that I may never have a decent relationship because my attitude. how do you explain that to someone?
then once I left the house I realized that all my best friends are gone. to college or either we just don't talk anymore. I have no where to go besides my parents house but they are out of town. I've fucked myself. I don't want to be with anyone else, thats obvious. I just seem to have a problem with relationships. I'm not even sure how it's lasted this long.
writing on this thing from my iPhone just hurts my god damn eyes, so fuckkkk it.
on top of everything this is ridiculous. and I cant even just drive around to relax. because I have no god damn money because of not working for a week and then having to pay fucking AT&T so now I'm just sitting in the Harris teter parking lot. how pathetic. is it really me? the problem is I'm not really even sure. whatever. i guess it's a part of my mother that will never go away. I hatebeing compared to her and I really hate feeling like I'm acting like her. this relationship is so different, but vie stayed the same. maybe that's the fucking problem. but mom is pure evidence that I may never have a decent relationship because my attitude. how do you explain that to someone?
then once I left the house I realized that all my best friends are gone. to college or either we just don't talk anymore. I have no where to go besides my parents house but they are out of town. I've fucked myself. I don't want to be with anyone else, thats obvious. I just seem to have a problem with relationships. I'm not even sure how it's lasted this long.
writing on this thing from my iPhone just hurts my god damn eyes, so fuckkkk it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
i can always tell when im upset about something. because dumb bullshit like the movie rent makes me cry. i guess i hurt briens feelings but I didn't mean to, I was just being honest like he asked me to.. that's just how I feel. I'm just glad tomorrows friday. this whole weeks been rough on me. I've been exhausted, went to bed early and still wake up late for work. and I'm not really sure if I'm doing what I want to do. I don't even understand myself, and I don't think I ever will.
but you would think, with all that said that my stress level would slowly lower itself but really it's at an all time high. especially with my mom and my sister. I wish I could understand my mother. the whole situation really hurts my feelings and just pisses me off. Like she can just get away with everything she's done and I have to be the bigger person to just brush it under the rug and pretend everything fine. well it's not. I'm still angry. truth is, I'll always be angry and theres nothing anyone can do about it. not even her. she made way too many mistakes that she can't ever take back. and now her and her whateverrrr are have problems when just a few ago she was fuckin pregnant by him? that's great. get yourself knocked up and then have all this god damn drama on FACEBOOk? where everyone and their moms can see it. how embarrassing. grow the fuck up. get your shit together. because if I could help it, you wouldn't have gotten away with it for this long. pathetic piece of shit. you seriously ruined my life and everyday that I live miserably it's your fault. you created this fuckin battlefield I live on. and your so god damn broke but you can afford to buy Taylor diamond earrings? when did I everrr get anything like that. the money isn't he point, it's the point that I do everything for my fuckin self and the only person who try to help is my father. just because he made something of himself you feel like you have punish him for that? just because you could have had that lifestyle but you fucked YOURSElF over? he wasn't good enough? you needed other people. and you thought you were so sneaky. I was sooo young and I still knew what was going on. too bad you still think its a secret. your such a good role model. and it kills me everyday to know that my sister is just fuckig like you. selfish and pathetic. you SHOULD feel sorry for yourself because you've lost so much tht you will never get back, including your daughter. it's sad that you really could careless.
I think I'm ready to cut ALL ties,
I'm an adult right?
no one can make my choices for me anymore.
and my happiness depends on this choice.
considering now everyone is trying to push anxiety medication on me now. so I can depend on medication for happiness, that's even more pathetic.
but you would think, with all that said that my stress level would slowly lower itself but really it's at an all time high. especially with my mom and my sister. I wish I could understand my mother. the whole situation really hurts my feelings and just pisses me off. Like she can just get away with everything she's done and I have to be the bigger person to just brush it under the rug and pretend everything fine. well it's not. I'm still angry. truth is, I'll always be angry and theres nothing anyone can do about it. not even her. she made way too many mistakes that she can't ever take back. and now her and her whateverrrr are have problems when just a few ago she was fuckin pregnant by him? that's great. get yourself knocked up and then have all this god damn drama on FACEBOOk? where everyone and their moms can see it. how embarrassing. grow the fuck up. get your shit together. because if I could help it, you wouldn't have gotten away with it for this long. pathetic piece of shit. you seriously ruined my life and everyday that I live miserably it's your fault. you created this fuckin battlefield I live on. and your so god damn broke but you can afford to buy Taylor diamond earrings? when did I everrr get anything like that. the money isn't he point, it's the point that I do everything for my fuckin self and the only person who try to help is my father. just because he made something of himself you feel like you have punish him for that? just because you could have had that lifestyle but you fucked YOURSElF over? he wasn't good enough? you needed other people. and you thought you were so sneaky. I was sooo young and I still knew what was going on. too bad you still think its a secret. your such a good role model. and it kills me everyday to know that my sister is just fuckig like you. selfish and pathetic. you SHOULD feel sorry for yourself because you've lost so much tht you will never get back, including your daughter. it's sad that you really could careless.
I think I'm ready to cut ALL ties,
I'm an adult right?
no one can make my choices for me anymore.
and my happiness depends on this choice.
considering now everyone is trying to push anxiety medication on me now. so I can depend on medication for happiness, that's even more pathetic.
Monday, September 27, 2010
worstttt past two weeks everrr. two wednesdays ago i called in and went to the doctor because of my butt. turned out it was an infection under the skin so he gave me an antibotic. it got worse, and worse. i didnt work the rest of the week. saturday was my fuckinnn birthdayy. but i woke up at 8, could barely walk. brien came and got in the bed with me. and i opened my presents from him. he got me the cutesttt pandora charm. a heart shaped locket with a chain that has a gold key attached. veryyyyy pretty earrings and necklace. AND MIRANDA LAMBERT ticketsss! that was pretty much the highlight of my birthday since i couldnt get out of bed. my mom called and went on about going to get another present for taylor, and he birthday cake. yadda, yadda. hurt my feelings. my parents came over later. they got a niceeeeee earrings. love em' :) and april got me a bunch of clothes, and purses and crap.
sunday i had to go back to the doctor.. i went alone and then they told me they had to cut the infection open to drain it and crap so i called my dad and asked him and april to come. it was soooo painful. i was screaming so loud. and crying and could barely walk out. they packed the cut and crap with some kind of paper stuff so they would continue to drain. GROSS. dad drove me home, and april drove my car to get my meds filled and then back to my house.
the entire following week i was out of work. tuesday i got the packing taken out. and the doctor wanted to put more in, i said NO. the that night my parents came over to watch GLEE :). friday my parents left for the beach so that night once brien got off work we headed to the beach. friday night we pretty much just had dinner. then saturday we woke up early. i couldnt sleep so i was up at 4:30. we went to charleston, SC to the naval shippp thing. idk? it was cool but a lot of walking for me, since i still have the cuts and stuff. then we ate a bubba gump shrippp. deliciousssss. they had signs that said "run forest run" and then another saying "stop forest stop" depending on if you needed your waitress or not. then brien got me and him a hoodie and since we spend more than $50? we got a cute little back pack thing like i wantedddd. YAY. its pinkkk. then we walked around the slave market and all around charleston. then april got me this really pretty necklaceee. its really simple with just one pearl. its cute. then we went back to mrytle beach. and just hungout really.
sunday me and brien didnt wake up until 9? or 10? and my parents were already on the pier, so we showered and stuff and went out there.. i was out there for like five minutes and caught a fishh. then it started raining pretty badly so we ate at the pier resturant. then brien and i packed up our stuff. we met my parents down at some storeee. and my dad got me a new shirttt. tried to convince brien to get some sperrysss, but he wouldntt. then me and brien drove down to mrytle beachhh. and walked the strip. he convinced me to go in the Ripleys haunted house. scaryyyy as fuckkk. we went in with three other people. and brien led the whole wayyy through. but the guy made me and brien go first. and this guy came out with a chainsaw and i thought that i was the end so i just took off runningg, and realized it was still the house. so we all got cloggedd up because i couldnt see and wouldnt go first. haha. then we get in the elevator and im like THANK GOD its over, it wasnt overrrr. and i literally peed in my pants. brien was so damn brave. he seriously just walked through it. then we stopped at mcdonalds to pee, and get tea. and the ride home was miserableeeee. it rained the WHOLE way there. but it wasnt too bad with brien there :) we talked a lot, and im so glad i have him. i'd be lost otherwise. then i decided to stop and see my mom. since friday i told her how she hurt my feelings, and then saturday she wanted to come by and see me. so i figured id get it out of the way because i wouldnt feel like it this weekk. she gave me my present, and taylor was going on and on about all the shit and money she got for her birthday. whateverrr. we picked up utley from staceys house and she had him dressed up! in a hoodie. HOW CUTEEE. then he peed on brien in the car. hahaha. once we got home we just crashedddddd.
sunday i had to go back to the doctor.. i went alone and then they told me they had to cut the infection open to drain it and crap so i called my dad and asked him and april to come. it was soooo painful. i was screaming so loud. and crying and could barely walk out. they packed the cut and crap with some kind of paper stuff so they would continue to drain. GROSS. dad drove me home, and april drove my car to get my meds filled and then back to my house.
the entire following week i was out of work. tuesday i got the packing taken out. and the doctor wanted to put more in, i said NO. the that night my parents came over to watch GLEE :). friday my parents left for the beach so that night once brien got off work we headed to the beach. friday night we pretty much just had dinner. then saturday we woke up early. i couldnt sleep so i was up at 4:30. we went to charleston, SC to the naval shippp thing. idk? it was cool but a lot of walking for me, since i still have the cuts and stuff. then we ate a bubba gump shrippp. deliciousssss. they had signs that said "run forest run" and then another saying "stop forest stop" depending on if you needed your waitress or not. then brien got me and him a hoodie and since we spend more than $50? we got a cute little back pack thing like i wantedddd. YAY. its pinkkk. then we walked around the slave market and all around charleston. then april got me this really pretty necklaceee. its really simple with just one pearl. its cute. then we went back to mrytle beach. and just hungout really.
sunday me and brien didnt wake up until 9? or 10? and my parents were already on the pier, so we showered and stuff and went out there.. i was out there for like five minutes and caught a fishh. then it started raining pretty badly so we ate at the pier resturant. then brien and i packed up our stuff. we met my parents down at some storeee. and my dad got me a new shirttt. tried to convince brien to get some sperrysss, but he wouldntt. then me and brien drove down to mrytle beachhh. and walked the strip. he convinced me to go in the Ripleys haunted house. scaryyyy as fuckkk. we went in with three other people. and brien led the whole wayyy through. but the guy made me and brien go first. and this guy came out with a chainsaw and i thought that i was the end so i just took off runningg, and realized it was still the house. so we all got cloggedd up because i couldnt see and wouldnt go first. haha. then we get in the elevator and im like THANK GOD its over, it wasnt overrrr. and i literally peed in my pants. brien was so damn brave. he seriously just walked through it. then we stopped at mcdonalds to pee, and get tea. and the ride home was miserableeeee. it rained the WHOLE way there. but it wasnt too bad with brien there :) we talked a lot, and im so glad i have him. i'd be lost otherwise. then i decided to stop and see my mom. since friday i told her how she hurt my feelings, and then saturday she wanted to come by and see me. so i figured id get it out of the way because i wouldnt feel like it this weekk. she gave me my present, and taylor was going on and on about all the shit and money she got for her birthday. whateverrr. we picked up utley from staceys house and she had him dressed up! in a hoodie. HOW CUTEEE. then he peed on brien in the car. hahaha. once we got home we just crashedddddd.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
the past two weeks ive worked 12-9 at honda because they still havent hired anyone for it yet. i'd just take it but im not working every saturday. sorry, i work enough of them as it is. so last week on thursday i didnt have to be in until 12 and brien just called to say he was going to be late and we drove to sanford to see the puppy. i wanted brien to go because i knew i would take him no matter what. so either way we ended up getting him and i swear ive never seen anything cuter. hes a really good puppy and he has had very many accidents. i took him to work with me on thursday and friday. friday night briien was hanging out with andy so i went over to crystals. cause matt, jenn and crystals sister were there. and i wanted little Utley to play with scooter :) so i picked up arbys for me and matt. then i left at like 11:30 so i didnt get home until 12:30..
then saturday morning i had to work at chrysler but befre i could even get there i got a phone call from matt saying there was no cashier and everyone was panicked. so i went to open up chrysler and then i left there to come open honda. and it seriously was a mad house.. i helped like 10 people as soon as i got there. and then crystal finally showed up at like 915. after i got off i had to go get crystal something to eat then drove home. gave utley a bath with the flea shampoo. then went over to my parents house and my dad gave utley his five way shot. because he was due for it. then we went over to shawn and gabbys cause i had to babysit. i fell asleep for like an hour.. so brien pretty much babysat. afterwards we just went home and went to sleep. utleys been sleeping in the bed :) and hasnt had any accidents in it ! i love my little puppyyy.
then sunday i slept in and me and brien decided to take Utley to the farmers market. and i seriously took us like 3 hours there because everyone we past wanted to see Utley and play with him. but then we left there and went to petsmart and got utley a new leash and collar and a krate for him to stay in when we arent home. then when we were in petmsart i had Utley on the ground cause i wanted him to walk and learn and not bwe scared and this women is like " its time to pick him up now he's scared.." and i just started at her. and then she said it again and im like? what, serioulsy i didnt say anything and then she picked him up and handed him to me.. so i walked to the next eisle and set him down. dumb woman. and walking into petsmart this man was asking about Utley and as i soon as i turned around i was like " are you micthell lanphiers dad? " and he was so we talked for like a good 20 minutes.. about bullshit. apparently his dad moved to apex and now has a baby and shit. whateverrr. so we went home i cookede dinner and did laundryy. yada yadaaa.
monday morning i got up and went to work. and all at the same tim eme, christina, and angie were standing with nicole.. and nicoles like " who wants to work at honda the night shift this week.." and christina's just shaking her head.. and im like " i guess i'll do it." since no one else will fuckin do it. but i asked to not work until on friday cause my birthday is on saturday.. but anyways. brien ended up calling out sick. he was throwing up and had a migraine or something? gross.
then today he called out to and went to the doctor and what not. today has sucked. ive felt like shit the whole day and now i feel like i might throw up.. but we still have two waiters.. and i cant leave.
then saturday morning i had to work at chrysler but befre i could even get there i got a phone call from matt saying there was no cashier and everyone was panicked. so i went to open up chrysler and then i left there to come open honda. and it seriously was a mad house.. i helped like 10 people as soon as i got there. and then crystal finally showed up at like 915. after i got off i had to go get crystal something to eat then drove home. gave utley a bath with the flea shampoo. then went over to my parents house and my dad gave utley his five way shot. because he was due for it. then we went over to shawn and gabbys cause i had to babysit. i fell asleep for like an hour.. so brien pretty much babysat. afterwards we just went home and went to sleep. utleys been sleeping in the bed :) and hasnt had any accidents in it ! i love my little puppyyy.
then sunday i slept in and me and brien decided to take Utley to the farmers market. and i seriously took us like 3 hours there because everyone we past wanted to see Utley and play with him. but then we left there and went to petsmart and got utley a new leash and collar and a krate for him to stay in when we arent home. then when we were in petmsart i had Utley on the ground cause i wanted him to walk and learn and not bwe scared and this women is like " its time to pick him up now he's scared.." and i just started at her. and then she said it again and im like? what, serioulsy i didnt say anything and then she picked him up and handed him to me.. so i walked to the next eisle and set him down. dumb woman. and walking into petsmart this man was asking about Utley and as i soon as i turned around i was like " are you micthell lanphiers dad? " and he was so we talked for like a good 20 minutes.. about bullshit. apparently his dad moved to apex and now has a baby and shit. whateverrr. so we went home i cookede dinner and did laundryy. yada yadaaa.
monday morning i got up and went to work. and all at the same tim eme, christina, and angie were standing with nicole.. and nicoles like " who wants to work at honda the night shift this week.." and christina's just shaking her head.. and im like " i guess i'll do it." since no one else will fuckin do it. but i asked to not work until on friday cause my birthday is on saturday.. but anyways. brien ended up calling out sick. he was throwing up and had a migraine or something? gross.
then today he called out to and went to the doctor and what not. today has sucked. ive felt like shit the whole day and now i feel like i might throw up.. but we still have two waiters.. and i cant leave.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
everyhings fine, i just hate those phases that i go through because during those phases its like nothing makes me happy. last week was ridiculous, i just didnt want to go home. so like almost everyday i just went out and drove around by myself. it was relaxing but it got old. i made up with brien on friday. apologizing and trying my best to explain what was going on. so friday night when i got off at 9, i met him, tyler and andy at some place on hillsborough street. then we all left, i picked up cigarettes and they picked up beer and we went back to the house to play beer pongg. andy was shooting under handeddd. LMAO. then after like 5 games i had to throw up. haha. but i drank more than anyone else anyways because andy was on my team and he wasnt drinking.. so i had to drink his. i guys while i was throwing up tyler and andy just dipped, haha. so i went to bed. then saturday we went to my dads house around 3 and corey, and amanda were there with their babyyy sileyyy. she was soo big and cute. then sunday we went over around 1. corey and amanda were there and so were duke and pam. but after dinner they went down to the neighbors house which was really ridiculous and everyone was upset because it was rude. they were supposed to be over for a while. but we went to sunni skies. and then came back to my dads house for a while. monday brien and i drove to smithfiield to get my bridesmaid dress for taylors wedding. so i had to pay another $90.00. which brings he dress to a total of $180.00. ughhh. then we ate at bob evans, soooo good. came back home. went to target and borders. brien got me my mommywood book! and then we went grocery shopping. anothering $93.00 i had to spend. damnn. then i came home and was cutting canalope and cut the shit out of my finger. seriously, im yelling " BRIEN I CUT MY FINGER " and he just stared at me while blood was going everywhere. he said " i thought you were just kidding " hahahaaaha. im working 12-9 this week and honda. SCORE. then saturday im working 8-3 and im baby sitting gianna at 6! makinnn that money for vacation. and my birthday is in 11 dayssss. SAY WHAT.
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